We all have that one thing we want to change about ourselves, or that one thing we wish we had. Growing up with a twin sister, I have always had someone to compare EVERYTHING about myself with. Who had the cuter outfit? Who made a better grade on their test? Which one of us will end up more successful? Which will get married first? … The list goes on and on. Lately I have come to the realization that God does not want us to live this way, always looking for success and happiness by comparing what we have or how we look to other people. I have a green monster constantly watching over my shoulder, waiting for me to fail. I can feel him trying to attack me when I hear people talk about how happy they are in their relationships, or how well they are doing in school, or even when I see a girl I think is prettier than me. I immediately want to change something about myself to be more like them, and I thrive off of things like this.
Perfection. We all have our own personal definitions of what “perfect” is. In reality, there is no such thing as perfection. Nobody’s perfect (as we all know from the one and only Hannah Montana). If we all strive to be perfect, we will go a lifetime without satisfaction. I think that is the main reason that I have realized that I need to stop comparing myself to other people. God made me special, unlike anyone else. He crafted me to be just the way I am, not perfect, but just me, and I love who he created. I may not be a Victoria’s Secret model, or have a boyfriend, and I may not always make straight A’s, but I am God’s creation. Jealousy is such a mischievous feeling, because sometimes it just wells up inside of us and we feel like there is nothing we can do to control it. When I start to feel jealous, I normally let it build up and just keep building until it becomes as high as a tower inside of me and then it turns into anger.
I have found that jealousy is much easier to overcome than we think. When I start to get jealous of someone else’s success or happiness, I instead start to think about how I would want others to treat me if I were telling them about my successes and my happiness. I would want my friends to be happy for me, not tearing me down. I then take a look at all of the joy God has blessed me with, and all of the things I have that some people would give anything to have, and I feel so lucky. He blesses each and every one of us with a uniqueness that no one else can identify with.
Blame. I always blame my envious lifestyle on the fact that I have a twin. I use this as an excuse to comparing myself to other people. “I have grown up comparing myself to someone else, therefore, I get jealous more easily and crave attention”. While this is true, I need to take accountability for the fact that I am a jealous person and whether I have a twin or not, I can overcome this. There are so many things to be thankful for and find happiness in that there are no excuses for wanting to have what other people have.